#1. You Are Here.

This is the place. This is where I am going to spill all the tea. Reminiscent of "the good, the bad, & the ugly." but leaning more toward "The embarrassing, the sad, and the painful."

I know that if I keep all these memories with me, I continue to carry them around, while attempting to ignore my inner child screaming in my face on a daily basis.. Where will that take me besides absolutely no where?

Instead, I'd like to do my very best to silence my shame and my fears while I tell the stories that need to be told. I am only 1 out of 7 billion on this giant rock, I know. Statistically though, 1 in 7 children in The United States have experienced abuse or neglect & 3.6 million child abuse reports have been filed in the last year. It's happened to so many of us, & I know for a certain fact that my story could help someone out there who's been through it, is going through it, or loves someone who has been exactly where I was as a child.

No matter who you are, or what brought you to this page, I hope you are able to find some peace or clarity (or both!) with me while you're here.

Let's try to start from the beginning.

Having support and love as a child is so completely pivotal to who you’ll grow up to be. You first learn about what self-love really is from the ones in your early years that are there to tell you how wonderful that you are. The ones that say you’re the best, you’re so beautiful, you’re the greatest, & you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

As for me, I’ll be here to tell you what life would be like if you didn’t have someone like that around growing up.

In 1994, my mother was 26 years old and pregnant with her second child. Only 3 months into her pregnancy, she was experiencing complications related to bleeding and bruising. Upon further inspection by her physician and after seeing several specialists, my mother was diagnosed with a rare blood disease called thrombotic-thrombo-cytopenia. This disease causes your body to destroy its own platelets, making it impossible for your blood to clot on it's own.

She spent most of the months of her pregnancy in a hospital bed, receiving blood transfusions daily for well over 100 days. On June 17th, she was going into labor. Due to her illness, doctors held off labor with drugs for 10 days to try and get her platelet count up. Finally, on June 27th, 1994, in a room filled with dozens of doctors and nurses, a healthy baby girl was born. That healthy baby girl is me.

My mother miraculously survived labor and doted on me from her hospital bed for 2 weeks. Everything would change very suddenly the day that she suffered a massive stroke. My dad would recall to me the phone call he received that morning from my grandmother saying "You need to talk to Kiera right now." But when the phone was held up to my mothers ear, all my mother could verbalize was "Mmm-ma-mm-m-ma" That would be the very last time she would use her voice. She lost all abilities to speak or move, except for very little movement ability in her right hand.

In the weeks following my mothers stroke, the doctors gave her a whiteboard and encouraged her to try to write on it. One day, my mother brought tears to the eyes of every person who entered her room, as she had written “I am a non-exist mommy to Lauren and Allyson.”

My mother was moved to hospice shortly there after. On September 22nd, 1994- 4 days before my sisters 3rd birthday, my one and only mother, Kiera Marie Burroughs departed this Earth. From what I’ve been told, my mother was such a happy person. Her smile was infectious. More than anything else though, all she ever wanted in this world was to be a mother. She loved my sister and I more than anything on this Earth, and she fought hard with everything she had to stay with us. Though her battle was lost, her legacy is not. My sister and I have lived so much life. My life is one that I would have never had the chance to experience if not for her ultimate selfless sacrifice. For that, she has already completed the task of the most amazing mom to ever exist.

As I write this 28 years later, I can confidently say that she has done so much more for my sister and I than anyone realizes. She’s an angel, my angel. Who from Heaven has performed miracles for me that mothers on Earth could never dream of for their own children.

Rest in Peace Mommy. We love you, and we miss you every single day.

I hope you come back to read the next post!